Making peace with my brother

This story touched close to home for Grandmaster DeMasco.  He asked that his reply be published here.   As promised, the author’s name has been redacted to protect their privacy. 

Hello,

I am very happy that you have finally found peace and found a peer group.

My brother was extremely dyslexic and was put in a special class in school. He was tall, overweight and also had a terrible time in school. He was very intelligent and his IQ was off the charts. He had a couple of girlfriends growing up. After high school, he had a few jobs.

Then he went to work In a gay bar in Boston.  I never knew my brother was gay. As a kid that grew up the way I did and dated a lot of girls, it was difficult for me to relate to him. Although I had good friends who were gay it was different for me when I found out my brother had gay partners. I didn’t judge him. I just didn’t understand. We were both young men at that time.  I just had a difficult time understanding how and why.

Many years passed, then I found out that he moved to San Francisco. He was my half-brother and the golden child to my stepdad. I never got along with either one of them. When my brother was 31 I got a call from my mother telling that my brother had AIDS and he was going to die. I flew to California to see him. It had been over 10 years. It was the first time in all our years he and I talked about life.

He told me that when he went to work at the gay club that up to that point he never had a sexual encounter with a male. He said that in fact he never thought about being gay. What he did say was for the first time he felt accepted as a person. That they treated him with respect. He also said that he did allot of sexually stupid things at that time. When I went to see him he had been living with his boyfriend which was going on a few years. He was a really nice guy and I truly believed they loved each other.

My bother also told me that he moved to San Francisco because it was easier to be a gay couple there. He said he never liked or believed in gay demonstrators. He just wanted to be with his partner in peace. My brother died a year later at the age of 32 and his partner died a year after that. They both were robbed of their life. I never forgot what he said to me. “ I was finally accepted and they treated me with respect.”   

I feel in life all we want is to be loved and have others treat us with respect. Although I wished my brother Billy and I had a better relationship growing up as kids, and it was totally my stepfather’s fault that we didn’t.  I am really happy he and I made the peace before he died. I am sure he felt the same way.v

I hope you have found peace in your life. I also want to thank you for sharing your story with me.
That is why I have shared this one.

Sincerely,

Grandmaster Steve DeMasco